Counter Etiquettes in India - A long way to go

In India, counter etiquettes are really counter-etiquettes.

Honeymoon

Two friends, A & X, are talking.

A: Hmm...so here I am.

X: Good that you finally decided.

A: Not yet, really.

X: What do you mean?

A: It's hard. People share their experiences. And say different things. I'm confused.

X: Look kiddo, don't have second thoughts. Now.

A: X, I absolutely don't know how to plan my honeymoon. Help me out.

X: Ah...you had scared something out of me. I thought you're giving "it" another thought.

A: What?

X: Never mind. Anyway, why do you want to go on a honeymoon?

A: What do you mean "why"? Every couple does.

X: Every couple goes because every other couple does.

A: So what's wrong? Everybody marries because so many others marry. A honeymoon refreshes you and gives you happy memories that you cherish lifelong. After a headful of emotions, ceremonies, wishes, and what have you, you need a break, don't you.

X: Why make it such a chore in the first place? Have a secret wedding.

A: I'm asking you to help me out. And with the honeymoon part "ONLY".

X: Look, I haven't had a honeymoon. So take everything with a pinch of er...honey.

A: nice.

X: First, you travel immediately after your wedding. Any later, it can be anything but a honeymoon. So make it qualify. Second, you travel with the objective to burn the biggest hole possible in your pocket. (you want to make memories, right?). Third, whatever you do, it must make a story good enough to make others jealous.

A: Why're you so critical of such a nice tradition, whoever invented it. It's once-in-a-lifetime.

X: Well then, everything is "once-in-a-lifetime", just as "honeymoon-whoever-invented-it" is.

A: X, I'm not here to talk "why" and "whether", but to talk "where" and "how".

X: Fine. As I said, the idea is to maximize your spending. This is easy because it's just anti-optimizing, and you know how to optimize. So it shouldn't be a tough one for you. Take out as many days for your honeymoon as you can. Travel to a remote place thus maximizing your travel costs. Anything within 500km won't do. The farther the better. Fly first class. Remember, hire a mercedes out of the airport. If you can do a limousine, so much better. Live in the best of hotels and resorts. Dine in the finest restaurants. Dish out hefty tips all over. Shop to your heart's content. And if you have time and energy left at the end of the day, you might as well enjoy some sex.

A: Hmm...

X: Never lose sight of the other objective. Try to remember every good bit you did or bought or enjoyed; make a list every night if you can. It's foolish doing something and not being able to brag about it later.

A: I see.

X: And finally, come back to your regular life, do things quite the opposite way, for the rest of your life. Take cheap flights, tip judiciously, and so on.... But you can still try to enjoy sex, if you have time and energy left at the end of the day.

A: I get the idea. Frankly, you haven't been of much help. I'm going to call up my travel agent. Thanks, anyway.

X: Have a good one.